Suburbia!
by JennH1
Summary: The members of Dead Cell move into a very 'cheery' suburban community. Unfortunately, the life there isn't going to be as easy as it seems...
1. The Road Trip

_(Hey! I'm back! Woohoo! ...did you miss me?)_

**Suburbia!**

Chapter 1 - The Road Trip

Crammed in a very small luxury car, the 4 members of Dead Cell drove down the long greulling highway; destination? Their new home. They got tired of residing in the Big Shell (there was only ONE Strut with the bathrooms in it, so if you were in Shell 2 and had to go, tough luck!), and instead they decided to move to good old 'suburbia'. Unfortunately, they didn't plan their road trip very effectively, so all of them were pretty much crammed in the car (thanks to Fatman's...fat and Solidus's U.S Army power suit).   
Fortune angrily shoved one of Solidus's tentacles away from her face for what seemed like the fiftieth time. "Solidus, keep your tentacles to yourself!" she sneered. She sat up front on the passenger's side of the car. Vamp was beside her, his hands clentched on the wheel for dear life because he had forgotten how to drive. Solidus and Fatman sat in the back seats, neither of them looking at eachother, but instead looking out of their windows. 

"Which pedal makes the car go forward again...?" Vamp muttered "Oh yes, THIS one..." Fortune fixed her hair, as it was starting to get into her face, then lanced back at the two men behind her. They looked back at her; Fatman, like he was going to eat her whole, and Solidus, who looked at her like she was a mess on his nice, clean rug.   
"Want to play a game or something? I think its going to take a while before we get there, so, better have the time fly..." she muttered. Solidus cocked an eyebrow at her, no interest whatsoever, as Fatman rubbed his hands together fiendishly. 

"Alright! Let's play a game!! I plant a bomb, and you defuse it--!"  
Solidus smacked Fatman in the head.  
"Don't be a fool!" he growled "If you set C4 here, we'll all get killed!" Fatman blinked for a moment, then slowly pointed to the back of Fortune's seat. Solidus and Fortune watched his finger, which pointed directly at a neat cluster of C4 tied to her chair.   
"You moron!" Fortune screeched. Fatman chuckled and shrugged innocently. "YOU wanted to play a game!" he giggled. Fortune pulled the C4 cluster off her chair as Fatman continued to laugh. She then rolled down her window, and threw the C4 out. 

The explosives fell down towards the road, but it then suddenly got caught on the car's tire. It spun for a few moments, then jettisoned high into the air. "Problem solved." Fortune sighed proudly, rolling her window back up, as a transport truck behind them exploded and burst into flames. The two men in the back just glared at her, as Vamp began to spaz out about the windshield wipers not stopping their wiping motion. 

-----

A few hours had passed, and the car continued down the highway, the hot afternoon sun blazing down on the car, peeling the little paint it had left. Vamp was still at the wheel, trying to figure out what the F-E meter stood for. Fortune was looking out her window dully, Fatman was busy admiring his hands and asking them for their autographs, and Solidus was fast asleep.   
"This trip is taking a lot longer than expected." Fortune sighed. "Do not worry, we will be there soon enough." Vamp assured her, eyeing the car's speed which was at a blinding 'zero'. "I guess you're right. Who's idea was it, anyways, moving us all the way out here?" Fortune asked. "...We did. You were at the meetings, remember?" Vamp replied, checking his fangs in the mirror.   
Fortune responded with a faint "Mmm.", as she continued to look out her window at the still landscape.

***

Finally, after what seemed like eons, they had finally reached the city limits of their destination, and it was only 8pm! Vamp was so proud of himself that he kissed himself all over. Fortune was just glad that soon she'd be out of this car, Fatman was having conversations with his reflection in the window about current events, and Solidus was still asleep, dreaming of when he was president and did laps around the Oval Office.   
"Finally here... now we can have a party!" Fatman laughed. Fortune jolted. "No! No parties!" she yelled, not looking back at him. "Alright, not like last time then, no bombs!!" Fatman sighed. Fortune nodded. "Alright. Party tomorrow night, to celebrate our new house. That is, IF we're done packing." Vamp nodded as well. "Yes, I can't feel my legs anymore, so tomorrow we can party until I cannot feel them again." 

Soon enough, they had reached their street. Houses that looked a lot the smae but were different colours lined the dimly lit street. They slowly drove down the road, then pulled up into the driveway of the new home. "Is this the right house?" Fortune asked. "It has to be... it looks just like the one in the picture..." Vamp replied. "Yeah but-- they all look--"   
But Fortune was interrupted by something. She could hear... muffled, andgry voices outside of the car, advancing closer, and closer to them. She turned to look out her window, and soon enough, so did the others (well, except Solidus...)... only to see a large crowd of people advancing towards them; wearing straw hats, and holding flaming torches and pitchforks. 

"Excellent! A welcoming committee!" Vamp cheered. Fortune bit her lip, eyeing their angry expressions as they came more into view. "I don't think they're here to welcome us..." she said, as slowly but surely the group began to advance close enough they could lick the car if they wanted... 


	2. Getting Settled

**Suburbia!**

Chapter 2 - Getting Settled

The people outside resumed their yelling and clamouring, as Fortune very nervously adjusted her bangs. "Well, they can't yell like that all night!" Fatman laughed, "Soon enough, they'll fall asleep, and when they do, BOOM!! Wahaha!!" Vamp turned the car off, and now the interior of the car was only lit by the flames of the torches outside. "Well, we can't sit in here all night." he growled. Some of the people outside then began to bang hard on the car windows, screaming and yelling.   
"It could be a riot." Fortune said, undoing her seatbelt. "Something about animals, or--" CRASSH! 

The back side window that was next to Solidus was then smashed open, awakening the megalomaniac instantly. "What!? What's going on!?" he yelled. He looked out his now-broken window, and saw the crowd of people, who were now quiet and frozen stiff. Solidus grumbled to himself, eyeing the other people in the car, then opened his door, and stepped out.   
Fortune, Vamp, and Fatman sunk lower into their seats. This wasn't going to look good... 

"What is the meaning of this?" He sneered. He seemed to tower over the people, but he only had his suit to thank for that. Without it, he'd probably be as intimidating as a blade of grass. The people stood there, silently backing away from the sour-faced Solidus and the car, all of them quiet. The other members of Dead Cell emerged from the car behind him, keeping an eye on the people aswell.   
Solidus rubbed his forehead. He was still tired, and was really ticked about being woken up from that good dream he was having about him giving a speech on the importance of oranges. He scanned the large group of people, then began to pace, eyeing them. He soon stopped after a moment, his face still sour. "Who is the leader here!?" he bellowed. 

The group of people began to give way, and a small man, with a red plaid shirt and round glasses, holding a burnt out torch, stepped forward. "I-I am sir. We're very sorry. We thought you were--" "Thought we were what?!" Solidus interrupted. The man gulped, "You see, the community here, we were practicing for a town-wide play of Frankenstein... and--" "AND WHAT!?" Solidus yelled.   
Fortune walked up behind Solidus, and tapped him on the shoulder, scaring him and causing him to jump like a little schoolgirl. "...What is it!?" Solidus hissed. "Don't be so hard on them. They're suburbanites, afterall," Fortune hissed back. "We want to get a good image going!" Solidus chuckled. "You don't get it, do you? You'll enjoy the show, don't worry. I'm only trying to get us some 'perks'." he laughed. Fortune stared at him oddly, and he waved her away. 

Solidus turned back to face the little man, who then conveniently wet his pants. 

"What's your name?" he growled. The man blinked. "John... John Wilkins." he muttered. "Well, 'John'." Solidus said bitterly. "I believe I will let this incident slide. Me and my colleagues ARE new here, you see... so... I believe if you want us to forgive you, you and your 'citizens' need to do us a little 'favour'." The citizens began to whisper and mutter to eachother, eyeing Solidus warily and frightfully. John turned to face the others, and after a while of hearing what they had to say, nodded, and turned back to face Solidus.   
"Well?" Solidus sneered impatiently. "WELL," John sighed " We decided that we want to get off on the right foot with you guys, so... we have decided to drop off a gift for you tomorrow." Solidus nodded. "Very well. Tomorrow then. Drop it off at our front porch." he sighed. John nodded, and left with all the other citizens back to their homes, taking off their straw hats and putting out their torches. 

Solidus smirked and turned to the others, and with that, they went into their new house. 

***

Finally, the morning came, and the four members of Dead Cell awoke from their 'wonderful' carpet floor 'beds' (they forgot to bring in their air mattresses...). Solidus was pleased to see on the front porch that morning twenty food baskets, each more delicate than the last. So the four of them enjoyed a nice breakfast of oranges, melons, and pretzels.   
The rest of the day wasn't so bad either. When they had to move their furniture into the house, the suburbanites were more than happy to help. When Fatman got stuck in the doorway, and Fortune and Vamp were to busy to move him (and Solidus refused), the suburbanites were there to push him in. When the car fell apart from a butterfly landing on it, the suburbanites were there to fix it up, and make it look like new. 

Yes, the suburbanites were a great help to them, and in no time at all the four members of Dead Cell had moved into their new house.   
That evening, however... 

Fatman growled angrily, and slammed the fridge door shut. He stomped all the way into the living room with the others, and slumped on the couch. Vamp was looking in the TV Guide for a special on paper he always wanted to see, Fortune was watching a Soap Opera she loved so dearly, and Solidus sat there, ignoring all of them, reading about his stock options in the paper.   
"What's the matter?" Vamp said, not looking up from his TV Guide. "There's no food left! There's nothing in the fridge, there's nothing to do!" Fatman whined. "Well, one of us has to go to the grocery store and get something then." Fortune said, tears falling down her face, since in the Soap Opera her favorite character tripped and fell down a well. 

"And I'm certainly not going, not while this is on." Fortune sighed. "I'm not going." Vamp said, "Last time I went to a gorcery store I got lost in the soap section." Fortune blinked, and turned to Vamp. "...There is no soap section." Vamp nodded. "I know that NOW..." he sighed.   
Fatman shrugged, "Well, I'M not going!" he whined. The three of them then turned to Solidus, who was muttering to himself how he should have sold his stocks in pumpkins BEFORE Halloween. "Unless..." Vamp said. Solidus peered over the coner of his paper at them. "What is it now?" Solidus groaned. "We need you to go grocery shooping! Neither of us want to go, and you're the only one here with money!!" Fatman said, crossing his arms. 

Solidus shrugged, put the paper down, stood up, then left instantly to the gorcery store. Fortune, aVamp, and Fatman watched him leave, astounded. "Wow, he didn't even complain..." Fortune said, amid the loud cursing coming from outside. 


End file.
